All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
