youre lurking in front of me
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
