I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
