The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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