She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
