Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize