Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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