I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
