i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
