just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
God I need to hump something, right now.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize