so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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