do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
