Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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