I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
