yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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