some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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