in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
