just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
