I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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