Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The adults are the big ones right?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
