guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
