Me too!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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