these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
