I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
