I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
