ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize