Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
