i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
