In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
