I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
