Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
