guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
