i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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