she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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