It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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