don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
