ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
