She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize