hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
