Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
