this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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