i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
