return my video game
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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