Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
