you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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