his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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