You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Michael Bay diarrhea
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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