I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
