what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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