She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
