I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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