kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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