He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
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