If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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