I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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