Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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