Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
