i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
They are going to name an STD after you.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
