dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
