i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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