I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Someone shattered a urinal.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
