Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
