Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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