my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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