the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Randomize
