Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
