You're a womanizer and a bitch.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she pinky promised me she was 18
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
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