dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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