this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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