Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
