So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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