mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize