I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
