HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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