Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Please don't give away my fajitas
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